AUTHOR: M. DATE: 11:34:00 PM ----- BODY:

I'm in Fort Lauderdale with Nana. My parents are coming in tomorrow. Seemed like the perfect time (are you laughing yet?) to break the news to Nana that her first great-grandchild 1) is imminent 2) will be adopted, and 3) won't be white. I didn't expect this to be easy, but I guess you're never really prepared until you're in up to your neck. It went... badly. The "imminent" part was quickly obscured by the "adopted" part until the "not white" part sunk in and became the entire focus of the rest of the conversation. I am trying hard to remember the lessons I learned coming out, and the professional advice I am constantly giving to the people I train: the first reaction is generally not the end of the conversation. And the closer you are to the person you're having this conversation with, the less likely they are to stay with their first reaction. I'm so grateful for I. tonight. I called her after this disastrous dinner and told her all the gory details, and she completely kept her sense of humor. She didn't undermine it at all, or write off Nana's reaction, but, as usual, she was totally supportive and reminded me of all the things I did right. Honestly, I feel okay about how I handled it. I managed not to lose my head, and I told Nana that after seeing the incredible effort she has made since I came out - which has not been easy for her - that I have total confidence that she'll be able to do this, too. She doesn't agree, but again: not the end of the conversation. That insight, I guess, is what years of psychotherapy can do. This is the good news. The bad news is this giant lump still in my throat.

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: FemiKnitMafia COMMENT-DATE:9:04 AM COMMENT-BODY:Hang in there. I know you know this, but she'll come around. She always does. And hurry back to Massachusetts soon. :-) --------