AUTHOR: M. DATE: 8:03:00 PM ----- BODY:

Just finished reading The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go and Get Pregnant by Dan Savage. Basically, it's What To Expect When You're Expecting for the gay pre-adoptive parent. First, I have to say there was a bit of great karma at work here - I' ve heard of the book and have been passively meaning to find it in the library or some such for a couple of months, and found it down the street the other night in one of those wonderful piles of books left on urban street corners along with everything else that wasn't sold at the yard sale that afternoon and a big sign that says "Free." That said, this was my book, at least for this week. Dan Savage and his boyfriend did an open domestic infant adoption through an agency in Seattle about 6 years ago. The agency they used had never done a successful placement with a gay couple before, but were swamped with calls after the book came out, and have since become known through the Pacific Northwest for being one of the best agencies for same-sex couples who want to do private adoptions (they've also done some good number-crunching and research on their own clients). Anyway, it reads like a novel, but it's an incredibly honest description of the whole kit n' kaboodle (I've always wanted to use that phrase... have you ever known anyone to actually use that phrase?). For example: Their social worker comes over to do their home study. They've spent hours racing around like maniacs, cleaning up piles of old magazines, sweeping under rugs, doing all sorts of obsessive-compulsive stuff to get the place presentable so the social worker won't take one look at the place and stamp "unfit parents" on their file. Five minutes after she walks in the door, he opens his mouth and says "We're not this neat. Usually the place is a gigantic mess." Right. Anyway. The book is ridiculous, honest, funny, and scary, and at the end they have a baby (sorry to wreck the surprise). I'm definitely putting it on my recommendation list for anyone who wants to learn more about this process and wants to learn it from someone who isn't busy with navel-gazing and lesbian-birthright processing (present company excluded, bien sur).

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