AUTHOR: M. DATE: 9:22:00 PM ----- BODY:

No coherent post in me tonight, just bits and pieces. Here's what I've got: I have got to make some new friends who actually live in this town. I've spent an extraordinaory amount of time in the past few weeks on the phone with long-distance friends and on the computer reading blogs. Damn, I need to go out more. ********** Relationship are HARD work. I have a great one and it's still kicking my butt. I am just coming to a brand spanking new understanding of what kind of work this really takes. ********* I'm working on a post I'm a little afraid to post. I'm trying to remember that every time I post something I'm afraid to post, I generate a huge (for me) amount of hits and a whole bunch of (almost entrely positive and supportive) comments. Case in point - the day after I posted Blah Blah Blah I got more than twice as many hits as I usually do on a good day. I promise I will post it eventually. ********* My friend J.'s first baby is due in less than 2 weeks. Every time she doesn't call me back immediately I am convinced it's because she's having her baby RIGHT NOW. She says this is not the case and suddenly she has no leeway to not return phone calls because her friends and family have begun to stalk her obsessively (though I was given permission to continue stalking, hooray!) We also had this conversation: Me: How are you feeling? J: Good, except the last time I was this tired I had mono and I got to skip gym. Me: You've still got a pretty good excuse to skip gym. J: Yeah, but this time I'm tired from getting up every 8 seconds to pee all night long. Me: Hmmm. Maybe it's your body getting you ready to be up with your baby half the night. J: True. Since you're adopting, I'll help you prepare: I'll call you every time I get up to feed my daughter or change her diaper in the middle of the night, so you can practice. ******** ANOTHER friend J. is due with her third baby in less than four weeks. I'm betting she will go first. I'm betting she'll have a girl, too. If she has a boy her 6-year-old daughter might have a heart attack over having another brother. ******* Next week my job is sending me to San Diego. My mom is flying out from Georgia to play with me. I like warm places, especially in February. I like my mom, too. ******* Last night I woke up at 2:30 because I was worrying about not having ordered the food yet for a conference I'm planning in the middle of February. Next time my brain is going to wake me up and make me worry in the stone-cold dead of night, I better be having an existential crisis. ********* I have a book recommendation for anyone looking to learn more about domestic adoption and the history of open adoption: May The Circle Be Unbroken. It addresses perspectives of birth parents, adoptive parents, and adopted children, and was written by a birthmother who relinquished her son in a closed adoption agreement and reconnected with him when he was 27. ******** Have I told you how happy I am that Scrubs is back on and we get two new episodes every single week? Unreasonably happy, that's how happy. Did I mention that I need a new hobby?

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Johnny COMMENT-DATE:10:24 PM COMMENT-BODY:Scrubs....ummmm, good. I wish I could be like JD and have some wild fantasy about weird things. We watch the show last when we've been watching grim cop shows on the DVR. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: mamamarta COMMENT-DATE:9:02 AM COMMENT-BODY:i read "my the circle be unbroken" and it was really informative for me.

i'm jealous about the warm weather and your mom! sounds nice. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Anonymous COMMENT-DATE:9:35 AM COMMENT-BODY:That always happens to me too when I write something that I'm afraid to post. You were brave to put your perspective out there, adoption is a touchy subject, and it was a really great post. You added a lot to the discussion.

Keep writing! Don't be scared ;) I am really enjoying your blog. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Anonymous COMMENT-DATE:7:29 AM COMMENT-BODY:c started walking in earnest yesterday - I read last night - and woke up wishing i could stop by. it's too early to call so i'm posting a long-d hug. missing u - m & c & c -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: avonlea COMMENT-DATE:10:13 AM COMMENT-BODY:I know what you mean about friends. I have a lot of friendly with's but no real friends outside of my computer. I wish I could come up and visit for dinner - maybe, but I really doubt it right now as I'm trying to save all of my vacation days for my adoption time off. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: avonlea COMMENT-DATE:10:38 AM COMMENT-BODY:Marissa, I want to introduce you to a fellow traveller not on your blogroll -
http://hydrangeasarepretty.blogspot.com/ --------