AUTHOR: M. DATE: 7:06:00 PM ----- BODY:

I'm obsessed with pregnant bellies these days. I'm sure in this little world of blogs I read and people who read this blog that it's not such an unusual obsession. But. It's not an obsession I would have expected, given that we came to adoption as our first choice, not because of infertility. I'm sure this has nothing to do with being on a break at the moment. And I'm sure it has nothing to do with being 30 and being surrounded - make that SURROUNDED - by pregnant women and babies and people trying to get pregnant. Well, okay. But oh my. I stalked followed this woman around the gym for a good half hour today trying to figure out if she was pregnant (hadn't seen her in a while) or if that was just a bump from her walkman. I'm terribly jealous. Jealousy threw me off balance for a few days. I thought: am I second-guessing our adoption plans? But I don't think so. It's no secret that I want to get pregnant... someday... probably. But it's more about wanting the experience of growing a person, not so much about the experience of growing a person who resembles me. I think the current obsession with pregnant bellies is just about the tangibility (wow, that is NOT a word - someone help me here?) the concreteness (still terrible, but bear with me) of the process. No yelling, please. I didn't say the "ease" of the process or the "simplicity" of the process. It's just that a pregnant belly is there and it can't be missed. It says "I will be a parent... and soon." I'd like to get me some of that.

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Sacha COMMENT-DATE:8:02 PM COMMENT-BODY:I know how you feel about not being to escape THE BELLY. I refuse to use the term 'bump' which is so beloved by the tabloids. Everywhere I go someone seems to have a belly swollen with child. Grrrrr. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: susan COMMENT-DATE:8:50 PM COMMENT-BODY:Pregnancy is so public--and it does make so concrete a process which for those of us choosing adoption is much more private. And it's hard to see that sometimes.

Wishing you peace while you're waiting for your time to come.... -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: art-sweet COMMENT-DATE:9:03 PM COMMENT-BODY:Yes! I think about all the love and anticipation that is showered on pregnant women... and not getting to share in that is one of the things that makes me saddest about our (potential) adoption. I'm not explaning very well and I sound like a whiny brat here, but I... well I feel a post coming on. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Anonymous COMMENT-DATE:11:45 PM COMMENT-BODY:"Palpability." And that IS a word.
Anyway, however it happens, I eagerly await becoming a granddad. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: J COMMENT-DATE:8:52 AM COMMENT-BODY:I think that "tangibility" should be a word. I also think that "gription" (a cross between grip/traction) should be a word, so I may not be a good choice as to official "wordmaker."

I digress. I walk around the supermarket and it seems like EVERYONE is pregnant. Sometimes I even think that fat men (just for a second) may be pregnant. That's because I have been looking at bellies first, faces second.

I try to get rid of any "green" feelings I have around pregnant women, but I do want it so very very badly that it's hard, and sometimes sad. But mostly I just sigh and smile and think "me soon." -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Anonymous COMMENT-DATE:9:23 AM COMMENT-BODY:I hear ya.. weve been trying to concieve for 5 years. When ya want it.. its all you see. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Barb COMMENT-DATE:10:25 AM COMMENT-BODY:this post brought up a lot for me, actually. i see pregnant women all the time and think...sigh.

but when i was pregnant, the attention freaked me out because i knew i wasn't parenting, so i felt like some sort of Pregnancy Imposter. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Laura COMMENT-DATE:1:48 PM COMMENT-BODY:I hope this doesn't sound stupid, but maybe it's a generational thing too. Noticing women in their late 20s-30s who are pregnant because our generation is on a breeding kick. Maybe we are more conscious of the people we consider reflections of ourselves. Sometimes I wonder if their were so many pregnant women walking around when I didn't feel ready to have a baby. Were they there and I just didn't see? Or is there some kind of population boom happening? --------