AUTHOR: M. DATE: 8:53:00 AM ----- BODY:

Okay, here's the game, courtesy of Art-Sweet. - She's interviewing me - 5 questions. - The first 5 people to comment here will be interviewed by me - I'll post questions for you here and you answer them on your own blog. - When you do that, you include an invitation for others to comment and then to be interviewed by you. - When you comment here you can also ask me a question, in case my answers to Art-Sweet's questions just leaving you wanting more, more, more. Her questions are in purple... What's your greatest fear about adopting? Oh my. Where do I start? Yesterday it occured to me that the outcome of adoption is that we'll have a BABY. That scared me pretty good. Right now my fears are also around being able to truly become a transracial family, not just white parents with a child of color, and about raising a kid with a really strong sense of culture and history from his or her and our culture of origin. Since apparently my kid will hate me someday regardless, I'd like it to be temporary and for other reasons, like curfews and green beans. You are cooking a multi-course romantic meal for your wife. What do you cook and what music do you listen to whilst cooking it? In fantasy land? And what does it say that it's really hard for me to answer this one? Here's the fantasy land answer (I'm totally ignoring the various food allergies and health issues we're working around these days): Vegetarian french onion soup, heavy on the carmelized onions and gruyere. Mango black beans over coconut lime rice. Balsamic roasted beets with goat cheese. Chocolate Delirium Cake from Rosie's (you MUST try it: it's a close second to an org*sm). White wine for me, a cigarette for her. I'm listening to Moby - Play. Fantastic cooking music. The romantic music can wait until, um, the meal is eaten. If you had to eat one food, and only one food for a week, what would it be? And would you ever eat it again afterwards? Chips and salsa and guacamole with lots of lime and cilantro. (Is that three? No, it's one because... I say so). And yes, I could eat it again. I have a *limitless* capacity for chips and salsa and guacamole. What's your favorite thing about your new home? It's ours!!! Also: 5 closets in a 2-bedroom condo So much light in every room we hardly touch the light switches during the daytime A front porch AND a back porch A BRAND NEW stover that no one has ever used except me And it's ours!!! (I realized I haven't responded to the requests for photos... will do that this week). When did you come out (to yourself, to your family, to the cashier at the supermarket)? Because the only thing I love more than a good birth/adoption story is a good coming out story* I was 19 when I got my act together. And um, it was National Coming Out Day (that's a little embarassing), my second year of college. I kissed my girl-crush that night and then we were together for 2 years after that. I told my parents within a few months (it was no big surprise to them). The rest of the family took a few more years. The funniest (though painful at the time) reaction I got from anyone when I first came out: "You? You're the straightest girl I know!" Says her. She thought I was doing it to be trendy.

Now I'm out to everyone in my life. Hiding is way too much wasted energy at this point in my life. And it's really fun to confuse insurance agents and bankers by saying "my wife."

It's even on my business card (you think I'm kidding: I'm actually gay for pay. It's pretty cool).

And I loved Art-Sweet's story about the other kind of "coming out." Where I grew up, lots of girls "came out" at 19, though their coming out involved expensive events and fancy dresses and their presentation to society as "marriageable" women. Why am I not on your blogroll? HaRumph! Oops! You have been for quite a while, actually, but I went and checked when I saw this question and for some reason you were marked "private." Fixed now. Sorry! Okay, who's up for the self-imposed meme? C'mon, it's a great chance to talk about your favorite subject...

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR:

Anonymous COMMENT-DATE:3:09 PM COMMENT-BODY:Please. You DON'T know your kidlet will grow up to hate you. I know way more adoptees who love their parents than adoptees who hate their parents--and that includes teenagers. Don't be me. I've been reading a few bitterly angry adoptee blogs lately that have left be practially breathless with fear.

Take a deep breath with me and repeat: "We will be loved. We will not suck."

Didn't work, did it? :) -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR:

M. COMMENT-DATE:7:30 PM COMMENT-BODY:Julie - clarification needed! I actually meant "my kid will hate me because adolescents hate their parents - it's their job" - not because of being adopted. As for angry adoptee blogs - they are frightening to waiting adoptive parents, and are a great motivation to figure out now how to do this well. Oh yes, I'm taking deep breaths with you. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR:

Hashbrown COMMENT-DATE:11:12 PM COMMENT-BODY:Hey M.
AJWP (my wife) told me about finding you in the blog world. Small world for sure. Just wanted to give you a little shout out. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR:

bethany COMMENT-DATE:1:20 AM COMMENT-BODY:interview me!! <3 -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR:

Estelle COMMENT-DATE:12:15 PM COMMENT-BODY:I'm in.
And my child hates me already at nine months, so I am certain your child will hate you as a teenager.
Actually, he doesn't hate me. He prefers me to a random stranger (normally) and if in pain will cuddle with me if my arms are the only ones available. But my breasts are non functional, so he has little use for my mind, body, and soul. He wants the goods, and only mommy has those.
One day, perhaps, he'll like me more. Right now I bribe him with ice cream to sit on my side of the bed. --------