AUTHOR: M. DATE: 10:01:00 AM ----- BODY:

Dawn hit it on the head. Go see for yourself.

-------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: FemiKnitMafia COMMENT-DATE:11:19 AM COMMENT-BODY:I have a question for you: is it me, or do I sense a distinctly pro-open-adoption slant among pro-adoption folks? Further ... are there closed adoptions anymore? Does one have a choice? -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Dawn COMMENT-DATE:12:06 PM COMMENT-BODY:I think it'd be hard to define "pro-adoption." There are people who are pro adoption who think adoption is good because it takes babies away from "unworthy" parents and puts them with "worthy" parents, for example. Some pro adoption advocacy groups are strongly against open records (National Council for Adoption: http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/) and other adoption advocacy groups who are strongly for open records (Evan B. Donaldson Inst http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/).

I do believe, however, that the pendulum is swinging towards more openness and that even those adoption professionals, advocates and adoptive parents who don't "believe" in it do acknowledge that it's a presence in the adoption world that isn't going away.

It's interesting to see how it's changing our collective understanding of adoption no matter what kind of adoptions (international, foster-to-adopt, etc.) we choose to do. It's certainly an interesting dialogue. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: carrym COMMENT-DATE:12:18 PM COMMENT-BODY:This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: carrym COMMENT-DATE:12:22 PM COMMENT-BODY:Damn. Just. Damn. Thank you for sharing the link. I actually went back and read the original post as well.

I'm not an adopted child, nor did I adopt or give a child up for adoption. However, my mother gave up her first child at the age of 15. The hard part is that she definitely was coerced. She wasn't ready to be a parent, but it still should have been her choice. I can only imagine how she would have loved an open adoption scenario.

Now this is a scar that she has lived with for nearly 40 years. In fact she won't search for her daughter out of fear of rejection. It makes my heart ache.

It really is interesting how many angles there are to look at adoption from. I used to believe that open adoption would be so hard, but I have become a believer. -------- COMMENT-AUTHOR: Maerlowe COMMENT-DATE:5:27 AM COMMENT-BODY:Before we began our homestudy, we were dimly aware that, even in fost-adopt, there is a move toward openness -- we assumed contact with siblings would continue, should the situation require seperate placments, for example. We didn't anticipate being asked if we'd be open to unsupervised visits with grandparents. But, those are things we'll have to consider in the near future.

While we don't want our children to think they have to leave their pasts at the front door, we are wary of contact with some of the family members they were removed from. We plan on evaluating as best we can on a case by case basis, with our kids' safety the main concern.

There are so many paths to adoption now, and each route has its own vocal group saying that their way is the best. The only advice I could give to anyone involved in adoption is to fight for what you want -- don't let other people, no matter how well-intentioned they seem, tell you what's right for you. Adoption is emotional and scary, from any side. --------